Wednesday, November 11, 2009
For my first post in 4 months, I could tell you about what I’m up to with work nowadays, in my far-flung corner of the world. It’s alright, by the way, thanks for asking.
I could bore you about the progress I’ve made with running, since that would be picking up where I left off.
I could tell you about love lost.
I could tell you about love found. And lost, again. Maybe I’ll get to that some other time.
I could tell you about a cabasa. You know there’s a story there.
I could tell you about little droplets of hope you leave with people that you didn’t realize you gave until they repay you. And then it comes back as a wave that sweeps you off your feet.
Buuuut I won’t. Not yet, at least.
Instead I’m gonna post about the 40th anniversary of Sesame Street, which was celebrated yesterday. 40 years of Cookie Monster, Kermit the Frog, Grover (let me digress first. I don’t care what anyone else says, but Grover is proof that, for sure, Jim Henson and his crew were definitely smoking something. Who the heck creates a blue monster and names it ‘Grover’?), and a motley assortment of endearing characters. Sesame Street has been around so long, the characters actually spawned two generations in Telly and Elmo. Yes, that’s spawned, not spanned.
You know those personality tests, where you pick an animal, or a color, and it tells you what kind of person you are? They should include Sesame Street characters in there. I was never really a fan of the ‘regulars’, like Kermit, or Ernie & Bert, Big Bird or Oscar the Grouch for that matter. My favorite characters were ones that weren’t always on-cam, the Yip-Yips (yeah, they’re called the Yip-Yips), and Barkley. What I’d have given to have a dog like Barkley. I wonder what those choices would say about my personality, but at the very least, I know they’re off-beat picks. Even as a kid, I was weird. Should’ve known.
There were, of course, the real people cast as the friendly folk of Sesame Street. There was Gordon (you know he could be badass if he wanted), and Maria & Luis (you just knew they were going to end up together), along with a whole host of others, young and old. And it was these people who would provide some seminal moments in the show’s history. I won’t claim to have known Mr. Hooper, but my elder sisters can’t forget his classic response to Big Bird, who was always butchering his name: ‘Hooper, Hooper!’ And the first episode after his death has been deemed as one of the most important moments in television history, as it taught children about mortality. That one day, we won’t be able to come back to share good times with our closest family and friends. There was another important person in Linda, who, being deaf, showed kids that, maybe some people are a bit different, color and gender aside, but there’s nothing to be afraid of, nothing to be ashamed of, and nothing to ridicule or be ridiculed about being different.
And that, really, was what Sesame Street was all about. It was about teaching kids (originally ones who could not go to school and watched TV at home instead) about basic stuff. You know, stuff. And while the show taught us to count (ah, ah, ah!!!), spell, proper eating eating habits (well, at least since cookie monster cleaned up his act), and all about customer service courtesy of Grover the waiter, it taught us other things as well. Things that are sometimes forgotten, or maybe taken for granted. Sometimes, they're things that we adults don’t have the courage to teach our children, and it takes a ragtag bunch of puppets to do so. I guess young and old, we’re always learning something, after all, from that TV show with humble, gritty beginnings 40 years ago.
So to the creators and crew throughout the 40 year-run of Sesame Street, congratulations. And thank you.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
one step too far. or maybe more.
having been disappointed with the time i had the last time i ran, i sorely wanted to do better this time out, so i decided to hold off doing any additional training for a 15K, and have a goal of doing better on a 10K run this time out. little did i know that, really, i should've mentally prepared for a setting a goal and really sticking to it.
it really does amuse me that i'm being a pretty consistent runner now. i set certain distance landmarks for 3, 5, 8, and 9.5K, and i've noticed that everytime i run, i'm always within a minute at each distance marker from the last run. and i do like that, though of course i wish i were a little bit faster.
and as i was approaching my 9.5K marker, i began entertaining the thought of trying out a 15K. i knew at this point that i would finish 10K within an hour, so, while checking my watch as i finished 10K (in 58:36), i decided to give it a scout's try and see how much left i had in the tank. the new objective would be to run until either a) i finished the 15K, or b) something gave out. but i knew that it was a bonus in itself to be even running beyond 10K. and so i went on, and i felt i slowed my pace down further to play safe; after all, like most new challenges, i had no idea what i was actually getting myself into.
i reached a point, however, where i was really feeling a groove; it's not numbness at all, but more like you were losing consciousness of what your doing and just doing it. which felt great. unfortunately, i had no idea if this meant that my body was about to give out. it didn't last long, though; i soon drifted back into 'consciousness', and i was feeling the labor carrying my strides as i was approaching the last 300 meters or so. Looking at my watch, i found that i had already passed the 1:30 mark (which will be my 15K goal), but i was satisfied with what i had done, and i finished with what i feel was a fairly decent time of 1:31:54.
it was a content kind of tiredness last night; i was happy with a good time on my first 15K trial run. though i believe i'll be training to improve my 10K times first, it seems like yet another good step towards that half-marathon by year's end.
having been disappointed with the time i had the last time i ran, i sorely wanted to do better this time out, so i decided to hold off doing any additional training for a 15K, and have a goal of doing better on a 10K run this time out. little did i know that, really, i should've mentally prepared for a setting a goal and really sticking to it.
it really does amuse me that i'm being a pretty consistent runner now. i set certain distance landmarks for 3, 5, 8, and 9.5K, and i've noticed that everytime i run, i'm always within a minute at each distance marker from the last run. and i do like that, though of course i wish i were a little bit faster.
and as i was approaching my 9.5K marker, i began entertaining the thought of trying out a 15K. i knew at this point that i would finish 10K within an hour, so, while checking my watch as i finished 10K (in 58:36), i decided to give it a scout's try and see how much left i had in the tank. the new objective would be to run until either a) i finished the 15K, or b) something gave out. but i knew that it was a bonus in itself to be even running beyond 10K. and so i went on, and i felt i slowed my pace down further to play safe; after all, like most new challenges, i had no idea what i was actually getting myself into.
i reached a point, however, where i was really feeling a groove; it's not numbness at all, but more like you were losing consciousness of what your doing and just doing it. which felt great. unfortunately, i had no idea if this meant that my body was about to give out. it didn't last long, though; i soon drifted back into 'consciousness', and i was feeling the labor carrying my strides as i was approaching the last 300 meters or so. Looking at my watch, i found that i had already passed the 1:30 mark (which will be my 15K goal), but i was satisfied with what i had done, and i finished with what i feel was a fairly decent time of 1:31:54.
it was a content kind of tiredness last night; i was happy with a good time on my first 15K trial run. though i believe i'll be training to improve my 10K times first, it seems like yet another good step towards that half-marathon by year's end.
Monday, June 29, 2009
getting older is better with friends
you think? sheesh.
saturday night once again, and i decided to take my third, potentially deciding, run, to test waters in training for 15K. earlier, i had promised that 3 consecutive sub-hour 10K runs would make me start training for 15K. and so, i set off, with the objective of doing the best time among my last 3 runs. i wore my 'broken-in' shoes to set me straight, and, it being a muggy night (yet again), opted for a cut-off running jersey.
didn't work. just barely got in, finishing the run in 59:04. while, really, i could've given a lot of explanations for why i was a lot slower than the last two runs, they really don't mean much to me. all i felt was the need to do better next time. but the point was, i did my set of 3 sub-hour runs. maybe, indeed, it was time to start training for the next step at 15K.
it being a good friends' birthday, he called the shots for a night out at a local hangout. we ended up being just 4 guys, with one bringing his newlywed along. which wasn't a problem, because despite her stunning looks and cool style, she knew how to dish it with the boys. it's not like we were major jocks, either, anyway, so we could hold on our own as well. kudos to virgil and luci (or is it spelled lucy? whatever).
so, we had beers, virgil did the free drinks (which was jim beam in different recipes, and he tried a couple of them), we talked, laughed, and watched really, really, really great bands perform, bands that were mostly under the radar of the local pop and rock scene. and finished Sunday morning at around 2:30am. i wasn't expecting it to be that late. but mostly, i wasn't expecting to have lasted that long. but i guess it's from celebrating yet another birthday with old friends, good music, and, having had another good run under my belt; knowing that maybe there is a balancing act that can be made.
and getting older now doesn't just seem 'not so bad'; it seems to feel really good.
you think? sheesh.
saturday night once again, and i decided to take my third, potentially deciding, run, to test waters in training for 15K. earlier, i had promised that 3 consecutive sub-hour 10K runs would make me start training for 15K. and so, i set off, with the objective of doing the best time among my last 3 runs. i wore my 'broken-in' shoes to set me straight, and, it being a muggy night (yet again), opted for a cut-off running jersey.
didn't work. just barely got in, finishing the run in 59:04. while, really, i could've given a lot of explanations for why i was a lot slower than the last two runs, they really don't mean much to me. all i felt was the need to do better next time. but the point was, i did my set of 3 sub-hour runs. maybe, indeed, it was time to start training for the next step at 15K.
it being a good friends' birthday, he called the shots for a night out at a local hangout. we ended up being just 4 guys, with one bringing his newlywed along. which wasn't a problem, because despite her stunning looks and cool style, she knew how to dish it with the boys. it's not like we were major jocks, either, anyway, so we could hold on our own as well. kudos to virgil and luci (or is it spelled lucy? whatever).
so, we had beers, virgil did the free drinks (which was jim beam in different recipes, and he tried a couple of them), we talked, laughed, and watched really, really, really great bands perform, bands that were mostly under the radar of the local pop and rock scene. and finished Sunday morning at around 2:30am. i wasn't expecting it to be that late. but mostly, i wasn't expecting to have lasted that long. but i guess it's from celebrating yet another birthday with old friends, good music, and, having had another good run under my belt; knowing that maybe there is a balancing act that can be made.
and getting older now doesn't just seem 'not so bad'; it seems to feel really good.
Monday, June 22, 2009
well, 20 kilometers down.
10 more to go.
i hadn't planned on running twice this trip home; my planned run for my stay here in the city really was for today, but, inspired by last saturday's run, i decided to find out if i could do another 10 kilometers in under an hour.
and, lo and behold, i did. even faster than the last one, in fact, at 58:25. this doesn't really make me a kenyan just yet, but, as i've said, i do it to continually improve myself. frightening, though, how close my time from last saturday was to today's. 13 seconds seems like a lot, but in the scheme of a 10k distance, a lot of small things can happen to make a difference of 13 seconds.
in the meantime, though, my shoes are beginning to feel a little more comfortable. is it possible that i can actually feel a difference between broken-in shoes? i'm not certain, but it sure feels good knowing that my 2 sub-hour 10K runs were actually in these newer (and, to me, currently less comfortable) pair of shoes.
i still have a ways to go. considering that i've said i need just three sub-hour 10Ks, i have no idea where to start training for 15K. another 5K is, frankly, not a walk in the park (excuse the pun), and i look forward to the challenge. having lost a lot of things i've held close this year, i will face this, and the rest of the year's challenges, on my own. but i have faith in myself; for who else better to have faith in, aside from higher powers, than yourself?
10 more to go.
i hadn't planned on running twice this trip home; my planned run for my stay here in the city really was for today, but, inspired by last saturday's run, i decided to find out if i could do another 10 kilometers in under an hour.
and, lo and behold, i did. even faster than the last one, in fact, at 58:25. this doesn't really make me a kenyan just yet, but, as i've said, i do it to continually improve myself. frightening, though, how close my time from last saturday was to today's. 13 seconds seems like a lot, but in the scheme of a 10k distance, a lot of small things can happen to make a difference of 13 seconds.
in the meantime, though, my shoes are beginning to feel a little more comfortable. is it possible that i can actually feel a difference between broken-in shoes? i'm not certain, but it sure feels good knowing that my 2 sub-hour 10K runs were actually in these newer (and, to me, currently less comfortable) pair of shoes.
i still have a ways to go. considering that i've said i need just three sub-hour 10Ks, i have no idea where to start training for 15K. another 5K is, frankly, not a walk in the park (excuse the pun), and i look forward to the challenge. having lost a lot of things i've held close this year, i will face this, and the rest of the year's challenges, on my own. but i have faith in myself; for who else better to have faith in, aside from higher powers, than yourself?
Sunday, June 21, 2009
get older
sometime late '07, i started frequenting a local watering hole that prides itself on being a venue for the burgeoning local rock scene. i had been to bars to catch local bands before, but never had i come to a place with no knowledge of who was playing, and, suffice to say, having had a blast the first night i went, i was hooked. so i came back. and it wasn't just me who came to get a fix of that unpretentious, just-there-to-appreciate-music vibe. it was a place where college kids in skinny jeans following their band of adulation were mingling with 30-somethings who'd dress down from their corporate attire to unwind with good friends. nobody was there trying to impress anyone else (and if there was, no one really noticed). it was in-the-know without being unaccommodating. i was going on weekdays, then to the point of going 3 days in a week. then, to knowing the staffers at the place. then, going there by myself. and, in the course of wanting to catch certain bands i wanted to see, i ended going to other similar joints in the metro. but never did i get the same comfort as with the one that got me hooked.
at around the same time, i started to take up a new 'sport' - road running. it was something also with a quietly bubbling following locally, and i went into it headfirst with no experience, training, or even reading up. which is why, at my first 10K, i finished in 71 minutes with my tongue lolling out at the end. i had my doubts at first, because i'm really not a fast runner, even until now- in race results, i'm pretty much in the middle of the pack. but i came to the philosophy that competitive running for a regular joe like me isn't as much as competing against others, but maybe more of competing against the course, and competing against yourself, improving your personal time as progression. and soon i grew into this running thing. now i'm still an average runner, finishing 10K in the 63 to 66 minute time frame, and while that may not seem like much, it does to me, given that i don't really practice that often and probably run competitively once a month.
saturday night, i decided to mix two of my favorite things to do, go out for a night run for an hour, after which i'd head on out to that local watering hole, knowing that the lineup that night was interesting enough (yes, at this point, i learned to look up the gig skeds).
so i went to run at my current favorite route, inside one of the city's small villages. i like running here because traffic is almost absent, there are a lot of trees (so a late afternoon/ early morning run becomes an option), and there are enough inclines and downhills to make it a varied course. the goal for tonight, really, was to time how long i could run 10K. having finished just over an hour the last time, i decided to finally use the stopwatch on my watch and see how long it'd really take me to do 10K. and so i set off, pacing myself to make sure i would finish the 10K, before even entertaining any thoughts of my course time.
but at the last corner that marked my 10K, a check of my watch showed a time of 58:37. so i had to slow down and blink once or twice to make sure. and i guess i saw it right, because it soon was ticking away at 58:51... 52...
i had promised myself months ago that if i made 3 consecutive sub-hour 10K runs, i would start training to improve my endurance and move up a distance notch, either in the 15K or 16K runs that are offered along with the 5, 10, and half-marathon distances. and here i was, now one step closer to doing that. of course i was euphoric in my time- after all, it was just under 2 months ago that i turned my ankle, ending (in my mind) all possibilities of running a half-marathon by my birthday in july. and while, of course, that is still unattainable, it was now not as distant a reality as i had thought.
still feeling good about a new personal best, i arrived at the watering hole, paid entrance, and decided to people watch, for lack of anything else to do. but watching others chat and mingle made me feel something i knew was quietly inside me all this time: loneliness. my being alone was a choice, i know; it was a choice that i've made time and time again, not just in being here with a beer, but in other circumstances. and it's one that i'd been very comfortable with, up until that moment. i felt really, oddly alone. and, quite frankly, really hot, because it was a muggy night, which wasn't helped by my beer.
so by the second beer (and only the 1st out 5 acts that night), i decided to call it a night. nodded to the bouncer (he's not really a bouncer; more like the ticket attendant), and left. nevermind the cost of the beer and entrance; i had gotten enough get-in-free rides there to postulate that it's really the staff of a bar you need to know to get in for free, if you wanted.
i needed to come home and write about getting older.
i'm personally at the point where i know that i'm not getting any younger anymore. and so i try to be more conscious of what i eat. i took up running. over the last two months, i've had only 8 beers (including the 2 i mentioned earlier). well, that is surprising, if you must know. i'll need another post to explain why. and i don't really stay up that late anymore. like i said, when i'd go out by myself, i'd sometimes close the gigs of the night, which would be at 3am on a weekday. now, i couldn't even get past 2 beers and 11:30pm. but at the same time, i can now run 10k in less than an hour. i've climbed the country's highest mountain this year, and, despite turning my ankle going down (which swelled for a week, if i may add), i still plan to finish a half-marathon by the end of the year.
i realized that, last night, i tried to combine two of my favorite things that may be at odds with each other. i'm starting to look with faith into the life of being healthier, conquering other milestones, and at the same time i'm looking back with reverence at the life of staying up late listening to hip tunes live, beer in hand. and i don't know if i should say 'screw it', and go headfirst into one end, or if i should just try to create a balancing act to this. i believe that i am, like many others are, at that point of trying to squeeze in one last hurrah, like the ben folds song, still fighting to hold on to that thread while thinking, 'not... just... yet...'
indeed, i am getting older.
sometime late '07, i started frequenting a local watering hole that prides itself on being a venue for the burgeoning local rock scene. i had been to bars to catch local bands before, but never had i come to a place with no knowledge of who was playing, and, suffice to say, having had a blast the first night i went, i was hooked. so i came back. and it wasn't just me who came to get a fix of that unpretentious, just-there-to-appreciate-music vibe. it was a place where college kids in skinny jeans following their band of adulation were mingling with 30-somethings who'd dress down from their corporate attire to unwind with good friends. nobody was there trying to impress anyone else (and if there was, no one really noticed). it was in-the-know without being unaccommodating. i was going on weekdays, then to the point of going 3 days in a week. then, to knowing the staffers at the place. then, going there by myself. and, in the course of wanting to catch certain bands i wanted to see, i ended going to other similar joints in the metro. but never did i get the same comfort as with the one that got me hooked.
at around the same time, i started to take up a new 'sport' - road running. it was something also with a quietly bubbling following locally, and i went into it headfirst with no experience, training, or even reading up. which is why, at my first 10K, i finished in 71 minutes with my tongue lolling out at the end. i had my doubts at first, because i'm really not a fast runner, even until now- in race results, i'm pretty much in the middle of the pack. but i came to the philosophy that competitive running for a regular joe like me isn't as much as competing against others, but maybe more of competing against the course, and competing against yourself, improving your personal time as progression. and soon i grew into this running thing. now i'm still an average runner, finishing 10K in the 63 to 66 minute time frame, and while that may not seem like much, it does to me, given that i don't really practice that often and probably run competitively once a month.
saturday night, i decided to mix two of my favorite things to do, go out for a night run for an hour, after which i'd head on out to that local watering hole, knowing that the lineup that night was interesting enough (yes, at this point, i learned to look up the gig skeds).
so i went to run at my current favorite route, inside one of the city's small villages. i like running here because traffic is almost absent, there are a lot of trees (so a late afternoon/ early morning run becomes an option), and there are enough inclines and downhills to make it a varied course. the goal for tonight, really, was to time how long i could run 10K. having finished just over an hour the last time, i decided to finally use the stopwatch on my watch and see how long it'd really take me to do 10K. and so i set off, pacing myself to make sure i would finish the 10K, before even entertaining any thoughts of my course time.
but at the last corner that marked my 10K, a check of my watch showed a time of 58:37. so i had to slow down and blink once or twice to make sure. and i guess i saw it right, because it soon was ticking away at 58:51... 52...
i had promised myself months ago that if i made 3 consecutive sub-hour 10K runs, i would start training to improve my endurance and move up a distance notch, either in the 15K or 16K runs that are offered along with the 5, 10, and half-marathon distances. and here i was, now one step closer to doing that. of course i was euphoric in my time- after all, it was just under 2 months ago that i turned my ankle, ending (in my mind) all possibilities of running a half-marathon by my birthday in july. and while, of course, that is still unattainable, it was now not as distant a reality as i had thought.
still feeling good about a new personal best, i arrived at the watering hole, paid entrance, and decided to people watch, for lack of anything else to do. but watching others chat and mingle made me feel something i knew was quietly inside me all this time: loneliness. my being alone was a choice, i know; it was a choice that i've made time and time again, not just in being here with a beer, but in other circumstances. and it's one that i'd been very comfortable with, up until that moment. i felt really, oddly alone. and, quite frankly, really hot, because it was a muggy night, which wasn't helped by my beer.
so by the second beer (and only the 1st out 5 acts that night), i decided to call it a night. nodded to the bouncer (he's not really a bouncer; more like the ticket attendant), and left. nevermind the cost of the beer and entrance; i had gotten enough get-in-free rides there to postulate that it's really the staff of a bar you need to know to get in for free, if you wanted.
i needed to come home and write about getting older.
i'm personally at the point where i know that i'm not getting any younger anymore. and so i try to be more conscious of what i eat. i took up running. over the last two months, i've had only 8 beers (including the 2 i mentioned earlier). well, that is surprising, if you must know. i'll need another post to explain why. and i don't really stay up that late anymore. like i said, when i'd go out by myself, i'd sometimes close the gigs of the night, which would be at 3am on a weekday. now, i couldn't even get past 2 beers and 11:30pm. but at the same time, i can now run 10k in less than an hour. i've climbed the country's highest mountain this year, and, despite turning my ankle going down (which swelled for a week, if i may add), i still plan to finish a half-marathon by the end of the year.
i realized that, last night, i tried to combine two of my favorite things that may be at odds with each other. i'm starting to look with faith into the life of being healthier, conquering other milestones, and at the same time i'm looking back with reverence at the life of staying up late listening to hip tunes live, beer in hand. and i don't know if i should say 'screw it', and go headfirst into one end, or if i should just try to create a balancing act to this. i believe that i am, like many others are, at that point of trying to squeeze in one last hurrah, like the ben folds song, still fighting to hold on to that thread while thinking, 'not... just... yet...'
indeed, i am getting older.
Saturday, June 06, 2009
and i now have more posts in two months than i've made in the previous
... what, four years?
maybe it's boredom from staying here in my assignment over the weekends.
maybe it's because another relationship has ended.
maybe it's because i'm too cheap to buy a camera, and would rather spend my free time writing whatever comes to mind instead.
no, it's not that i'm too cheap to buy a camera; i'm afraid to buy a camera because i can't justify it, as i think i'm not that creative enough (though frankly, that didn't stop a lot of people out there- but i digress).
maybe it's because i need to vent all this uncertainty. i'm here, on my own, very much alone, and, while i don't really regret being assigned here (because the alternatives would've been a lot worse), i'm still thinking, 'am i letting my life pass me by, and i have no idea that it is?' sometimes i get frustrated, when i begin to entertain thoughts that it is.
and then for some reason, those thoughts turn again to knowing that a lot of it (if not everything) is really up to me. because i need to put my passions on hold (for reasons that may be disclosed later on), i think i've turned to using this blog as an outlet- just reflections on things a regular guy living a regular life lives out.
it will remind me that, at a time in my life when i felt so alone, i still had myself.
sometimes that's all one needs to know to get by.
... what, four years?
maybe it's boredom from staying here in my assignment over the weekends.
maybe it's because another relationship has ended.
maybe it's because i'm too cheap to buy a camera, and would rather spend my free time writing whatever comes to mind instead.
no, it's not that i'm too cheap to buy a camera; i'm afraid to buy a camera because i can't justify it, as i think i'm not that creative enough (though frankly, that didn't stop a lot of people out there- but i digress).
maybe it's because i need to vent all this uncertainty. i'm here, on my own, very much alone, and, while i don't really regret being assigned here (because the alternatives would've been a lot worse), i'm still thinking, 'am i letting my life pass me by, and i have no idea that it is?' sometimes i get frustrated, when i begin to entertain thoughts that it is.
and then for some reason, those thoughts turn again to knowing that a lot of it (if not everything) is really up to me. because i need to put my passions on hold (for reasons that may be disclosed later on), i think i've turned to using this blog as an outlet- just reflections on things a regular guy living a regular life lives out.
it will remind me that, at a time in my life when i felt so alone, i still had myself.
sometimes that's all one needs to know to get by.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
on fate. and kfc. and poker hands.
i was on the tollway last month, when i had a craving to have kfc for lunch. since i knew i didn't have enough money for the tollway, either, i stopped at one of those larger gasoline stations (the ones that make you feel like they're the last oasis before you head on to nowhere) to top up both my wallet and my stomach.
by the time i found the money machine, i had worked myself up for either a zinger meal or a 2-piece chicken meal. but i discovered that the machine was unavailable to dispense cash. and, checking what cash i had left, i had no money for either meal!
well, at this point, i decided that any kfc fix was better than nothing, so i figured to max out my money, and got a rice bowl meal which i had never tried. truth is, it wasn't so bad, either, but i never got the full satisfaction of the kfc experience i felt i would've gotten with something else (that i couldn't afford).
but my tummy (not my mind) was filled, and, having already decided that i'd just stop at another gas station instead for money, i was feeling chipper when i passed the money machine again. lo and behold, the machine was now 'online' and able to dispense cash. and that full feeling turned slightly into a letdown, knowing that, had i just waited, i might've had the taste of soggy, colonel sanders' 11-herbs-and-spices chicken goodness in my mouth.
i had to smile, inspite of my frustration then. i was thinking that, indeed, fate does have a sense of humor. i could just imagine her (and yes, i think fate has a feminine slant) laughing at my look on seeing the money machine asking me to insert my card in the slot so that we could begin. well played, fate. well played.
but it's not about how fate plays her tricks on you; it's not about the cards you're dealt. it's still (and i guess it'll always be) about how you play your hand at a given time. fate will throw her curveballs on her own; she'll test you with others just to see who gives in first; and oh, sometimes she'll give you combos that'll make you terribly nauseated. but you can always make do with what's thrown to you. sometimes you really don't have much to work with, but things work out in the end when you do.
and there, folks, is the catchword- 'work'. it's nice to think that fate's gonna deal you a royal flush someday, but while waiting for it, why not build your pot with what you got? and if you never get your royal flush, take pause and look; you just might find that you never really needed it, after all.
about a week later, i had my 2-piece meal. and, ironically, even while i was savoring onion salt+pepper+paprika+chili powder+basil+msg in my mouth (hmm.. 6 out of 11), i knew then that it still wasn't what i had been wanting. so the other day, i had my zinger. and, yes, i had my fill; but while that feeling was now really satiated, it also had a tinge that it really was no big deal. so i didn't mind that it took me a month to get that craving down. because between that rice bowl, and the 2-piece meal, and the zinger, i learned that sometimes what you spend time looking for turns out to be something you didn't really need to be.
i was on the tollway last month, when i had a craving to have kfc for lunch. since i knew i didn't have enough money for the tollway, either, i stopped at one of those larger gasoline stations (the ones that make you feel like they're the last oasis before you head on to nowhere) to top up both my wallet and my stomach.
by the time i found the money machine, i had worked myself up for either a zinger meal or a 2-piece chicken meal. but i discovered that the machine was unavailable to dispense cash. and, checking what cash i had left, i had no money for either meal!
well, at this point, i decided that any kfc fix was better than nothing, so i figured to max out my money, and got a rice bowl meal which i had never tried. truth is, it wasn't so bad, either, but i never got the full satisfaction of the kfc experience i felt i would've gotten with something else (that i couldn't afford).
but my tummy (not my mind) was filled, and, having already decided that i'd just stop at another gas station instead for money, i was feeling chipper when i passed the money machine again. lo and behold, the machine was now 'online' and able to dispense cash. and that full feeling turned slightly into a letdown, knowing that, had i just waited, i might've had the taste of soggy, colonel sanders' 11-herbs-and-spices chicken goodness in my mouth.
i had to smile, inspite of my frustration then. i was thinking that, indeed, fate does have a sense of humor. i could just imagine her (and yes, i think fate has a feminine slant) laughing at my look on seeing the money machine asking me to insert my card in the slot so that we could begin. well played, fate. well played.
but it's not about how fate plays her tricks on you; it's not about the cards you're dealt. it's still (and i guess it'll always be) about how you play your hand at a given time. fate will throw her curveballs on her own; she'll test you with others just to see who gives in first; and oh, sometimes she'll give you combos that'll make you terribly nauseated. but you can always make do with what's thrown to you. sometimes you really don't have much to work with, but things work out in the end when you do.
and there, folks, is the catchword- 'work'. it's nice to think that fate's gonna deal you a royal flush someday, but while waiting for it, why not build your pot with what you got? and if you never get your royal flush, take pause and look; you just might find that you never really needed it, after all.
about a week later, i had my 2-piece meal. and, ironically, even while i was savoring onion salt+pepper+paprika+chili powder+basil+msg in my mouth (hmm.. 6 out of 11), i knew then that it still wasn't what i had been wanting. so the other day, i had my zinger. and, yes, i had my fill; but while that feeling was now really satiated, it also had a tinge that it really was no big deal. so i didn't mind that it took me a month to get that craving down. because between that rice bowl, and the 2-piece meal, and the zinger, i learned that sometimes what you spend time looking for turns out to be something you didn't really need to be.
