Wednesday, September 19, 2012
an end.
and it came quietly, the end.
it was my sister's birthday, but she wasn't in the country, vacationing with her family.
it was a regular friday, and casual day at the office. so i dressed in one of my favorite t-shirts, and a pair of comfortable white sneakers that i don't regularly wear.
i treated my work friends to lunch, and we had a good one. one of them asked if i was okay- she knew what that day was. and i said i was. in retrospect, i'm not really sure. but it doesn't really matter- because now, i am.
when i came home, my family was waiting for me. my sister had a bottle of wine with some jamon iberico and cheeses out. but i wasn't thirsty, and i wasn't hungry, either. so i turned in early.
and the next day, i woke up to a bright saturday morning, and my life quietly went on.
i hadn't noticed that, the day before, all hope and possibility of us together had ended.
that you had finally begun your life with him.
that our daughter was with you. and i would probably never see her again.
i showed you that we could've made it together, and so did my family. months later, one of my sisters asked, 'where did we fall short?' and i shrugged my shoulders.
i had started this post just a few weeks after that day, and back then, i was still rife with speculation on your reasons. but i've tucked them away, because, ultimately, only you had those reasons, and i eventually decided that, if you didn't want to share them, then i trusted that you knew better.
and now, a few months later, having been given time to breathe again, and the chance at a new beginning, i've come to the conclusion that you did.
thank you.
it was my sister's birthday, but she wasn't in the country, vacationing with her family.
it was a regular friday, and casual day at the office. so i dressed in one of my favorite t-shirts, and a pair of comfortable white sneakers that i don't regularly wear.
i treated my work friends to lunch, and we had a good one. one of them asked if i was okay- she knew what that day was. and i said i was. in retrospect, i'm not really sure. but it doesn't really matter- because now, i am.
when i came home, my family was waiting for me. my sister had a bottle of wine with some jamon iberico and cheeses out. but i wasn't thirsty, and i wasn't hungry, either. so i turned in early.
and the next day, i woke up to a bright saturday morning, and my life quietly went on.
i hadn't noticed that, the day before, all hope and possibility of us together had ended.
that you had finally begun your life with him.
that our daughter was with you. and i would probably never see her again.
i showed you that we could've made it together, and so did my family. months later, one of my sisters asked, 'where did we fall short?' and i shrugged my shoulders.
i had started this post just a few weeks after that day, and back then, i was still rife with speculation on your reasons. but i've tucked them away, because, ultimately, only you had those reasons, and i eventually decided that, if you didn't want to share them, then i trusted that you knew better.
and now, a few months later, having been given time to breathe again, and the chance at a new beginning, i've come to the conclusion that you did.
thank you.
