durr...

bottled salad dressing is just salt and fat.

just so that y'all know.



and i'm not kobe-hating or anything... well, maybe i am.

but notice how much attention the miami heat have been getting over rumors that the los angeles lakers have agreed to ship shaquille o'neal to the heat in (likely) exchange for lamar odom, brian grant, caron butler, and a draft pick.

but nobody really wants to go to the lakers with shaq gone, nor i doubt will NBA free agents express desire of going wherever kobe is (once he decides who to dress up for next season.)

which reminds me yet again, i have absolutely no idea why anyone, much less kobe bryant, would even think of having consensual sex with anyone else when he has a wife who looks like that. goodness! oh, and did i mention she is positively stacked? well, i think you can see for yourself. tell me you're kidding me.

rubeola

a kid's disease at age twenty-... whoa, i almost typed it.

which means i will likely be out of commission for the next week and a half. it isn't exactly unappealing, having to work at home, but i'll be missing out on company-paid lunches and cups of something, anything from the starbucks across the street (i'd say coffee, only i hardly order coffee there.)

these rashes which i've had for three days now keep me up at night- it's like grinding a soda bottle into little pieces and having them in your shirt, in your pants, everywhere. (you can see what this incapacitation has done to my head.) and these rashes have not let up one second since saturday morning. i've tried baths, alcohol, baby wipes, everything. i'm seriously considering baking myself in the sun tomorrow morning in the hopes my skin will fry off.

and this just had to happen a week before my birthday, meaning i'll be a hermit on my twenty-mmph birthday, since i'll probably still be contagious despite not having these rashes by then. hey, my birthday comes only once a year, but i'm not that selfish.

and tonight, somewhere, some guy is merrily screwing a girl he doesn't deserve to. okay, that has no relation whatsoever to the point at hand, but i'm miserable. sue me.



which reminds me,

i saw two videos that were once novelty items around the internet, one named after the international celebrity involved, and another named after the school from which one of the characters reportedly studied. anyway, what i inferred from having watched the videos is that the women had absolutely no idea that their partners would be such deviants, and placed a matter of complete trust in the men, that they not 'spread' the videos around. there was also a lot of submission by the girls, because, clearly, the guys were running the show, telling the girls to do this, or do that, or whatnot.

at this point i'll steer clear of one of the videos mentioned, and focus on the one closer to home. i have yet to confirm this with reliable sources (which are close by- after all, the school in question happens to be my alma mater), but i have heard reports that the girl in the video was a dean's lister, and (this is the sad part), due to the weight of the shame over the video, she reportedly committed suicide. i have not heard of any reports, however, concerning the guy other than he was from the same HS alma mater as myself, too. now, not to disparage myself nor my co-alumni, but i found myself thinking, 'why am i not surprised?'...

i find it awfully disturbing, though, that reactions from a lot of people were mainly indifferent to this whole thing, and there are some who even say she deserved it. i don't. it's not a question of what you do behind closed doors. though i admit, she made a bad choice somewhere, apparently. she let herself be a pawn in a small game turned big.

quite frankly, i have so many things to ramble on about it, and i know i have a point somewhere. that she should've known better, blah, blah, that there just aren't enough real men in the world anymore, so on and so forth. just take the guy in the film, the one who (most definitely) released the tape somewhere. there just isn't an excuse for having done that. none.

i wanna say, 'be more responsible with who you deal with', i wanna say 'why is he not getting any flak?', 'all men are pigs.' 'why didn't we do anything about this?', and explain why i want to say it. but when i think about what she could've done with her life, how he got away with such a deed, and with the apathy we've all treated this, i decide to just drop it.

with this post, like the scandal, there is no light at the end of the tunnel.

starting early

a colleague of mine (same course in college, one batch lower can be considered, i guess, as such), had her first day at work last monday. this person had a stellar academic career in school, but a slightly dented social status with her classmates (which us upperclassmen eventually were used as soundingboards for), having been a bit self-seeking and just generally hard to get along with.

she displayed her lack of tact real early on her first day, when during our monthly company flag ceremony, upon being asked if she was single, she said to the crowd, 'well, single, but not available.' being among my co-trade sales department huddle, i saw about 30 thought bubbles (mine included) simultaneously popping up with the same message of, 'we weren't asking!'

but really, here's hoping she displays her intellectual brilliance and uses it for the company's growth. it's everyone's asses, anyway, if she screws up, too.

why is it that i post only when somebody dies?

i went to the wake of a classmate's brother last night, and it was deeply sober. the deceased, despite not having had any liquor or drugs, crashed into the back of a(n apparently parked) public utility vehicle, which led to chest trauma and eventual death.

the family chose to wear black last night, and, despite my opposing views on this, i couldn't help but sympathize. for when one's life is violently taken away without any apparent reason, it may be that you just don't see what the point is in looking for a ray of light. a quirky anomaly of our culture is that it's deeply religious and fatalistic at the same time. so people have been chalking it up to God's plan of just retrieving a soul back, while others limply say, 'when it's your time, it's your time', to everything in-between, with all possible combinations included. i myself have some sort of stance which i'm not willing to really dig in to. i'm just sad it happened. this guy was younger than me, and had a dream job coming true for him, and he had a great set of peers; he had lived a life worth living, i feel, and all of those dreams, all of those moments and wealth of his were gone in a matter of seconds.

i'd like to stress out the importance of wearing your seat belt here. i told my girlfriend on the way home that, having died not wearing a belt, it was a lot worse than if he died wearing it, because that way we'd know that not even a seatbelt could have saved him from death. but this way, we never will.

death brings about reperspection (if there is such a word) for all those who are left behind by its dispassionate hand. but we always hope and pray for them, (including ourselves sometimes,) that they have the courage to really be happy for those who have left, and to move on with their lives and get used to the fact that from this day forth, those who are gone are gone for good.

for, unfortunately, that's always what we're left to do.

one month

i hate it that i haven't updated my blog in such a long time. in fact, i hate it that i do it a lot to my blog. though, admittedly, this is just a side experiment that i started almost 9 months (!) ago, i would have liked to have a little bit more commitment to it (just as i feel i have commitments to a lot of things, even work, despite using my productive time to blog, just like now).

it also irritates me, because this post took 3 days (but only 30 minutes) to finish, and i only had to because i felt i had too many things to mention to keep them all in my head without them either seeping out eventually, or further distracting me from my, ehem, other commitments until i finally get to write them. for one of the few times, i actually chose the latter.

i actually had the gall to start another blog. no, i'm not going to be an idiot and link it here yet, simply because i think i'll link to it only when i feel i have put a substantial amount of material in it (which, given the attention i've put into this one, means you'll likely never see it in time to be remembered).

so i do hope that in the coming days, i do post at a rate higher than what i've been going at thus far. i don't owe it to any one but myself (since there are so few those people reading this, anyway, and heck i don't owe them sh!t!), and maybe then y'all continue reading, and i'll continue writing, and maybe... we'll all get back a lot for nothing.