Sunday, June 21, 2009
get older
sometime late '07, i started frequenting a local watering hole that prides itself on being a venue for the burgeoning local rock scene. i had been to bars to catch local bands before, but never had i come to a place with no knowledge of who was playing, and, suffice to say, having had a blast the first night i went, i was hooked. so i came back. and it wasn't just me who came to get a fix of that unpretentious, just-there-to-appreciate-music vibe. it was a place where college kids in skinny jeans following their band of adulation were mingling with 30-somethings who'd dress down from their corporate attire to unwind with good friends. nobody was there trying to impress anyone else (and if there was, no one really noticed). it was in-the-know without being unaccommodating. i was going on weekdays, then to the point of going 3 days in a week. then, to knowing the staffers at the place. then, going there by myself. and, in the course of wanting to catch certain bands i wanted to see, i ended going to other similar joints in the metro. but never did i get the same comfort as with the one that got me hooked.
at around the same time, i started to take up a new 'sport' - road running. it was something also with a quietly bubbling following locally, and i went into it headfirst with no experience, training, or even reading up. which is why, at my first 10K, i finished in 71 minutes with my tongue lolling out at the end. i had my doubts at first, because i'm really not a fast runner, even until now- in race results, i'm pretty much in the middle of the pack. but i came to the philosophy that competitive running for a regular joe like me isn't as much as competing against others, but maybe more of competing against the course, and competing against yourself, improving your personal time as progression. and soon i grew into this running thing. now i'm still an average runner, finishing 10K in the 63 to 66 minute time frame, and while that may not seem like much, it does to me, given that i don't really practice that often and probably run competitively once a month.
saturday night, i decided to mix two of my favorite things to do, go out for a night run for an hour, after which i'd head on out to that local watering hole, knowing that the lineup that night was interesting enough (yes, at this point, i learned to look up the gig skeds).
so i went to run at my current favorite route, inside one of the city's small villages. i like running here because traffic is almost absent, there are a lot of trees (so a late afternoon/ early morning run becomes an option), and there are enough inclines and downhills to make it a varied course. the goal for tonight, really, was to time how long i could run 10K. having finished just over an hour the last time, i decided to finally use the stopwatch on my watch and see how long it'd really take me to do 10K. and so i set off, pacing myself to make sure i would finish the 10K, before even entertaining any thoughts of my course time.
but at the last corner that marked my 10K, a check of my watch showed a time of 58:37. so i had to slow down and blink once or twice to make sure. and i guess i saw it right, because it soon was ticking away at 58:51... 52...
i had promised myself months ago that if i made 3 consecutive sub-hour 10K runs, i would start training to improve my endurance and move up a distance notch, either in the 15K or 16K runs that are offered along with the 5, 10, and half-marathon distances. and here i was, now one step closer to doing that. of course i was euphoric in my time- after all, it was just under 2 months ago that i turned my ankle, ending (in my mind) all possibilities of running a half-marathon by my birthday in july. and while, of course, that is still unattainable, it was now not as distant a reality as i had thought.
still feeling good about a new personal best, i arrived at the watering hole, paid entrance, and decided to people watch, for lack of anything else to do. but watching others chat and mingle made me feel something i knew was quietly inside me all this time: loneliness. my being alone was a choice, i know; it was a choice that i've made time and time again, not just in being here with a beer, but in other circumstances. and it's one that i'd been very comfortable with, up until that moment. i felt really, oddly alone. and, quite frankly, really hot, because it was a muggy night, which wasn't helped by my beer.
so by the second beer (and only the 1st out 5 acts that night), i decided to call it a night. nodded to the bouncer (he's not really a bouncer; more like the ticket attendant), and left. nevermind the cost of the beer and entrance; i had gotten enough get-in-free rides there to postulate that it's really the staff of a bar you need to know to get in for free, if you wanted.
i needed to come home and write about getting older.
i'm personally at the point where i know that i'm not getting any younger anymore. and so i try to be more conscious of what i eat. i took up running. over the last two months, i've had only 8 beers (including the 2 i mentioned earlier). well, that is surprising, if you must know. i'll need another post to explain why. and i don't really stay up that late anymore. like i said, when i'd go out by myself, i'd sometimes close the gigs of the night, which would be at 3am on a weekday. now, i couldn't even get past 2 beers and 11:30pm. but at the same time, i can now run 10k in less than an hour. i've climbed the country's highest mountain this year, and, despite turning my ankle going down (which swelled for a week, if i may add), i still plan to finish a half-marathon by the end of the year.
i realized that, last night, i tried to combine two of my favorite things that may be at odds with each other. i'm starting to look with faith into the life of being healthier, conquering other milestones, and at the same time i'm looking back with reverence at the life of staying up late listening to hip tunes live, beer in hand. and i don't know if i should say 'screw it', and go headfirst into one end, or if i should just try to create a balancing act to this. i believe that i am, like many others are, at that point of trying to squeeze in one last hurrah, like the ben folds song, still fighting to hold on to that thread while thinking, 'not... just... yet...'
hm. i am getting older.
sometime late '07, i started frequenting a local watering hole that prides itself on being a venue for the burgeoning local rock scene. i had been to bars to catch local bands before, but never had i come to a place with no knowledge of who was playing, and, suffice to say, having had a blast the first night i went, i was hooked. so i came back. and it wasn't just me who came to get a fix of that unpretentious, just-there-to-appreciate-music vibe. it was a place where college kids in skinny jeans following their band of adulation were mingling with 30-somethings who'd dress down from their corporate attire to unwind with good friends. nobody was there trying to impress anyone else (and if there was, no one really noticed). it was in-the-know without being unaccommodating. i was going on weekdays, then to the point of going 3 days in a week. then, to knowing the staffers at the place. then, going there by myself. and, in the course of wanting to catch certain bands i wanted to see, i ended going to other similar joints in the metro. but never did i get the same comfort as with the one that got me hooked.
at around the same time, i started to take up a new 'sport' - road running. it was something also with a quietly bubbling following locally, and i went into it headfirst with no experience, training, or even reading up. which is why, at my first 10K, i finished in 71 minutes with my tongue lolling out at the end. i had my doubts at first, because i'm really not a fast runner, even until now- in race results, i'm pretty much in the middle of the pack. but i came to the philosophy that competitive running for a regular joe like me isn't as much as competing against others, but maybe more of competing against the course, and competing against yourself, improving your personal time as progression. and soon i grew into this running thing. now i'm still an average runner, finishing 10K in the 63 to 66 minute time frame, and while that may not seem like much, it does to me, given that i don't really practice that often and probably run competitively once a month.
saturday night, i decided to mix two of my favorite things to do, go out for a night run for an hour, after which i'd head on out to that local watering hole, knowing that the lineup that night was interesting enough (yes, at this point, i learned to look up the gig skeds).
so i went to run at my current favorite route, inside one of the city's small villages. i like running here because traffic is almost absent, there are a lot of trees (so a late afternoon/ early morning run becomes an option), and there are enough inclines and downhills to make it a varied course. the goal for tonight, really, was to time how long i could run 10K. having finished just over an hour the last time, i decided to finally use the stopwatch on my watch and see how long it'd really take me to do 10K. and so i set off, pacing myself to make sure i would finish the 10K, before even entertaining any thoughts of my course time.
but at the last corner that marked my 10K, a check of my watch showed a time of 58:37. so i had to slow down and blink once or twice to make sure. and i guess i saw it right, because it soon was ticking away at 58:51... 52...
i had promised myself months ago that if i made 3 consecutive sub-hour 10K runs, i would start training to improve my endurance and move up a distance notch, either in the 15K or 16K runs that are offered along with the 5, 10, and half-marathon distances. and here i was, now one step closer to doing that. of course i was euphoric in my time- after all, it was just under 2 months ago that i turned my ankle, ending (in my mind) all possibilities of running a half-marathon by my birthday in july. and while, of course, that is still unattainable, it was now not as distant a reality as i had thought.
still feeling good about a new personal best, i arrived at the watering hole, paid entrance, and decided to people watch, for lack of anything else to do. but watching others chat and mingle made me feel something i knew was quietly inside me all this time: loneliness. my being alone was a choice, i know; it was a choice that i've made time and time again, not just in being here with a beer, but in other circumstances. and it's one that i'd been very comfortable with, up until that moment. i felt really, oddly alone. and, quite frankly, really hot, because it was a muggy night, which wasn't helped by my beer.
so by the second beer (and only the 1st out 5 acts that night), i decided to call it a night. nodded to the bouncer (he's not really a bouncer; more like the ticket attendant), and left. nevermind the cost of the beer and entrance; i had gotten enough get-in-free rides there to postulate that it's really the staff of a bar you need to know to get in for free, if you wanted.
i needed to come home and write about getting older.
i'm personally at the point where i know that i'm not getting any younger anymore. and so i try to be more conscious of what i eat. i took up running. over the last two months, i've had only 8 beers (including the 2 i mentioned earlier). well, that is surprising, if you must know. i'll need another post to explain why. and i don't really stay up that late anymore. like i said, when i'd go out by myself, i'd sometimes close the gigs of the night, which would be at 3am on a weekday. now, i couldn't even get past 2 beers and 11:30pm. but at the same time, i can now run 10k in less than an hour. i've climbed the country's highest mountain this year, and, despite turning my ankle going down (which swelled for a week, if i may add), i still plan to finish a half-marathon by the end of the year.
i realized that, last night, i tried to combine two of my favorite things that may be at odds with each other. i'm starting to look with faith into the life of being healthier, conquering other milestones, and at the same time i'm looking back with reverence at the life of staying up late listening to hip tunes live, beer in hand. and i don't know if i should say 'screw it', and go headfirst into one end, or if i should just try to create a balancing act to this. i believe that i am, like many others are, at that point of trying to squeeze in one last hurrah, like the ben folds song, still fighting to hold on to that thread while thinking, 'not... just... yet...'
hm. i am getting older.
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