durr...

my insomnia

in light of all the confusion and hurt we caused each other,

from the fundamental differences we discovered in the short time we were together,

seeing that we were walking together towards different directions,

in the steady tide of time that will have drifted us apart longer than we were ever together,

knowing that, even when you come back, we can and should never be with each other again,

i should be fine.

but i can't sleep.

so i remember looking at you wearing my shirts, and the feeling i had seeing you look so comfortable in them.

i remember when you'd stare at me wide-eyed whenever you were feigning innocence

i still hear your giggle in my ear when we know my hand's moved too far up your leg

i hold your pillow tightly, as if it were you in my embrace

and still i can't sleep.

i remember fried dumplings at 3 in the afternoon

when we looked out a window, wondering why a boulevard was empty

i remember when you wrapped your arms around me, and it didn't matter where, they always seemed to fit

when you said, 'you're tired, you're gonna snore again', then followed it up with, 'yes, i know.' and a smile

and still i can't sleep.

i remember when you asked me if i could leave it all behind

when we nearly kissed, and when we really did

i remember when i told you 'i love you', you said, 'do you know how long i waited?'

and i still see your hand resting on mine, as if all the comfort you needed was already there

and that is why i can't sleep.