Thursday, January 14, 2010
water erosion
for the first time in 14 months, i once again went underwater. and since it'd been so long, i had definitely no ambitions to be the group leader for the day, and was content being the safety diver.
throughout the two dives, i found myself feeling strangely detached to the entire proceedings, so much so that when i called attention to a group of yellowtail barracuda, i wasn't as excited as i had been in the past whenever pointing out underwater attractions to groups of divers. since i was still adjusting my gear from entering the water, i continued to do that while pointing to the barracuda, not minding the sight of the fish themselves.
later in the dive, the leader started banging on his tank to call the group's attention. since he was at a significant distance ahead of most of the group, i didn't even bother moving closer to his position to see what he had. all i did was make sure the rest of the divers (who were all finning madly at this point) were actively there. eventually, only 2 others were able to spot what he saw, a blacktip shark in the distance. seeing that i had not been able to spot it, he went back and motioned to me what he had seen. i nodded my acknowledgment and tried to muster enthusiasm, but i was just flat out disinterested. it could've been a whale shark he was pointing out (and it's been previously documented by this group in Anilao); heck, it could've been an intergalactic spaceship for all i cared. but i just wasn't interested in all that at this point. and still i don't know why.
i had previously said to some fellow divers during the 14-month lull that, while i was happy for the group whenever they saw a (marble ray! eagle ray! whale shark- twice!), i wasn't feeling the envy or the awe that i normally would (and should) have in the past. i was hoping that, during last weekend's dive, that lack of enthusiasm would dissipate, and i would be excited to be underwater, seeing things and enjoying the awesomeness of nature again. while certainly there, it just wasn't at the level of dives past, and maybe more sadly, it just felt that i may not ever get it back to where it was before.
in 2 weeks, i have the opportunity to be back, this time to lead a dive. i certainly hope that my keenness to go underwater by then will be, at the very least, higher than what it was during last weekend. i used to live to do this, and it would be a sad thought for me that i might've have lost one of my favorite natural highs.
for the first time in 14 months, i once again went underwater. and since it'd been so long, i had definitely no ambitions to be the group leader for the day, and was content being the safety diver.
throughout the two dives, i found myself feeling strangely detached to the entire proceedings, so much so that when i called attention to a group of yellowtail barracuda, i wasn't as excited as i had been in the past whenever pointing out underwater attractions to groups of divers. since i was still adjusting my gear from entering the water, i continued to do that while pointing to the barracuda, not minding the sight of the fish themselves.
later in the dive, the leader started banging on his tank to call the group's attention. since he was at a significant distance ahead of most of the group, i didn't even bother moving closer to his position to see what he had. all i did was make sure the rest of the divers (who were all finning madly at this point) were actively there. eventually, only 2 others were able to spot what he saw, a blacktip shark in the distance. seeing that i had not been able to spot it, he went back and motioned to me what he had seen. i nodded my acknowledgment and tried to muster enthusiasm, but i was just flat out disinterested. it could've been a whale shark he was pointing out (and it's been previously documented by this group in Anilao); heck, it could've been an intergalactic spaceship for all i cared. but i just wasn't interested in all that at this point. and still i don't know why.
i had previously said to some fellow divers during the 14-month lull that, while i was happy for the group whenever they saw a (marble ray! eagle ray! whale shark- twice!), i wasn't feeling the envy or the awe that i normally would (and should) have in the past. i was hoping that, during last weekend's dive, that lack of enthusiasm would dissipate, and i would be excited to be underwater, seeing things and enjoying the awesomeness of nature again. while certainly there, it just wasn't at the level of dives past, and maybe more sadly, it just felt that i may not ever get it back to where it was before.
in 2 weeks, i have the opportunity to be back, this time to lead a dive. i certainly hope that my keenness to go underwater by then will be, at the very least, higher than what it was during last weekend. i used to live to do this, and it would be a sad thought for me that i might've have lost one of my favorite natural highs.
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