Wednesday, December 09, 2009
if fate has a sense of humor, she just gets it from her boss.
there is a church in the region where i work that i always wanted to visit one time. it was made of red brick (my construction material of choice), it had a bell tower, and it was nestled in a quiet area in a quiet town in an already quiet province. and just in case you didn't catch my drift...
i decided to go in, because i needed to pray that day. and, alone in a cavernous house of god, i prayed.
i thanked him first for allowing me to be alive, with full faculty of my senses.
i prayed for the people who lived in that sleepy little town i was in.
i prayed for the mom of one of my close friends, who was diagnosed with breast cancer and was still fighting the good fight.
i prayed for my other close friends, who, at that moment, were probably excited, hungry, frustrated, tired, satiated, or sleepy, depending on which friend i would be referring to.
i prayed for my most previous relationship. we knew we did not end well, and, though she may scoff at the idea, i always prayed for her well-being and thanked god for her every chance i could get. and i had one now.
i prayed for my family. though he already knew that i couldn't do much without them, i told him anyway.
i prayed for cabasa girl. i had no idea what she was up to now, but i prayed that she was at the best state she could be in, as well.
and i prayed for myself. that i find a more insightful peace with myself, one that would let me sleep better at night. because i knew that, at that moment, i was far from it.
i left the church, but there was no epiphany, no feeling of being lighter (or heavier, either), nothing out of the ordinary. i just prayed a private prayer, and that was that.
but 30 minutes after i stepped out of that church, i get a message from my previous relationship. and we got to conversing for a while before i had lunch. it was actually an ordinary exchange of news bits and advice, save for the fact that we hadn't had any real communication in over 3 months. but communicate we did, and with a slightly brighter outlook, i went on with the rest of my workday, knowing that she seemed very well. and i was glad that she was. and that was that. but little did i know that there was still something else in store for me.
last night, i opened my e-mail and see an unread message. and who would it turn out to be, but ms. cabasa girl herself. she had replied to my email. now, i open this email with baited breath, as i'm not really sure how she'd react to what i wrote, if at all she'd react.
and react she did not. she just gave me updates on what she was up to. unfortunately, near the bottom, i read a two-letter pronoun which i was not expecting to read, and nearly fell off my seat reading: us
uh-oh.
nevermind the context of the sentence. my point is that... well, you get the point.
and last night, try as i might, i didn't sleep any better.
there is a church in the region where i work that i always wanted to visit one time. it was made of red brick (my construction material of choice), it had a bell tower, and it was nestled in a quiet area in a quiet town in an already quiet province. and just in case you didn't catch my drift...
i decided to go in, because i needed to pray that day. and, alone in a cavernous house of god, i prayed.
i thanked him first for allowing me to be alive, with full faculty of my senses.
i prayed for the people who lived in that sleepy little town i was in.
i prayed for the mom of one of my close friends, who was diagnosed with breast cancer and was still fighting the good fight.
i prayed for my other close friends, who, at that moment, were probably excited, hungry, frustrated, tired, satiated, or sleepy, depending on which friend i would be referring to.
i prayed for my most previous relationship. we knew we did not end well, and, though she may scoff at the idea, i always prayed for her well-being and thanked god for her every chance i could get. and i had one now.
i prayed for my family. though he already knew that i couldn't do much without them, i told him anyway.
i prayed for cabasa girl. i had no idea what she was up to now, but i prayed that she was at the best state she could be in, as well.
and i prayed for myself. that i find a more insightful peace with myself, one that would let me sleep better at night. because i knew that, at that moment, i was far from it.
i left the church, but there was no epiphany, no feeling of being lighter (or heavier, either), nothing out of the ordinary. i just prayed a private prayer, and that was that.
but 30 minutes after i stepped out of that church, i get a message from my previous relationship. and we got to conversing for a while before i had lunch. it was actually an ordinary exchange of news bits and advice, save for the fact that we hadn't had any real communication in over 3 months. but communicate we did, and with a slightly brighter outlook, i went on with the rest of my workday, knowing that she seemed very well. and i was glad that she was. and that was that. but little did i know that there was still something else in store for me.
last night, i opened my e-mail and see an unread message. and who would it turn out to be, but ms. cabasa girl herself. she had replied to my email. now, i open this email with baited breath, as i'm not really sure how she'd react to what i wrote, if at all she'd react.
and react she did not. she just gave me updates on what she was up to. unfortunately, near the bottom, i read a two-letter pronoun which i was not expecting to read, and nearly fell off my seat reading: us
uh-oh.
nevermind the context of the sentence. my point is that... well, you get the point.
and last night, try as i might, i didn't sleep any better.
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